Achievement

Recently i went to a seminar. Not really sure what i will get out of it, but it really gave me a change to take some risk and make me feel like ..."wow i can do it" and this seminar is in no way related to what i achieved.......... probably i have created some interest right. If so go a head.. otherwise ditch it.. my way of writing doesnt suite u.

Ok here it is...

I was going up the steps, i realized someone on my right catching my eye... looked at her and my next reaction is... "wow she is really beautiful". Ok, everything is fine, i was supposed to sit on the left end of the hall and she on the right end, so we went to our respective places.

While the seminar is going on.. everytime i look to my right my eye's automatically focuses on her face. to describe it better... like in most movies, the camera just shows a crowded street and zooms in finally to focus on the hero.... Its some thing like that.

It happened the first time: i thought she is really beautiful
2nd time: insideme (Ok yaar she is really beautiful)
3rd time: (what's happening to u, comeon u r not here for this, concentrate on the talk..)

but what to do.... i could not control, so i started looking at her instead of looking at the where i am supposed to.

Suddenly something struck in me.. "how would it be if I say it to her????" My first reaction was "WOW good idea"... Now i am committed to say it to her, trouble started then.

I questioned myself....Can i do it??? How will she react if i tell it to her?? what if she scolds me in front of so many ppl?? .... what not i got every dam question which hindered me from saying it to her.

Finally i made up my mind.... Either u go and say it to her, or admit that u r a coward and never ever say u can do anything.

So made a plan abt how to meet her and say it out.

PLAN: After the talk ends, go out quickly hangout at the entrance. when she comes out, excuse her for 2 mins, tell what ever u want to tell and in the worst case run away from that location..... seems to be funny right.. but bet you its really tought to say it to a stranger.

So as per the plan, after the seminar, i went out i excused my friend that i will be joining him in 10 mins. I was waiting for her. I feel like its already 10mins past, my blood pressure is rising, i am slowly giving up hope that i can do it, even my legs are shivering.... I dont want to do it... at the same time i dont want to accept that i cant do it... Finally, she is out ( unfortunately not single, she is accompanied with 4 of her friends).

She is walking out, i am following her.... Finally i got up the courage to approached her. I want close to her and even before i say "excuse" someone from behind called her and he started introducing his friends to her. I was disturbed, scared... i went off crossing her, as if i dont want to talk to her. The movement i crosses i walked a head a few meters and stopped there. I turned back and was waiting for that stupid to finish his talk with her.

After a while he finished and went off, and even before i woke up and thought of approaching, some one else was talking to her. So i went back to waiting mode again.

I was waiting and waiting.. i got a call from my friend.
friend " where r u??"
me (already nervous and frustrated, literally shouted at him) "i will join u, wait"
I ended the call immediately.

After waiting for a while i realized, she seems to be a very popular person. some or the other one has been talking to her. Finally i decided to approach her in any case.

I took a deep breath, went a head
me: (approached her, will my heart beat at its peak, my legs still shivering, even my hands and even my voice not in my control) Excuse me, can i talk to u for 2 mins???

beautiful: (this is the way i would like to call her) ha (nodding her head)

me: (another deep breath) nothing much, I just want to say "u look really beautiful for me"
(i dont know why, i could not even look at her eyes when i said it)

When i completed saying it, i looked at her again... I was really surprised to see her expression. It was not in the list of expression i thought she would give.

she gave a big exclamation mark on her face, and said "hey!! Thank you". Now i am shocked,

anyway i made sure that i hide my fear and said "Its ok. This is all i want to say and bye".
she acknowledged it and immediately after that i ran away from that place. i met my friend, we went out and while i was starting my bike, i realized that my legs a still shivering like hell.

I still doubt it if i have done this all, but its true i have done it. Its really a big achievement right??... not bcos i have done it, its bcos i could not believe myself that i have done it.

BTW, i have recently acheived one of my wish: i have seen a 3 digit reading on my bikes speedometer last sunday i.e. 15th april 2006. I have seen it twice on the same ride.

art & personality test results

This is not for u, its only for me... just for my future reference

Low extraversion
People with low extraversion scores tend to be happier with their own company. They may have a small number of close friends rather than a wide circle of acquaintances. Less keen on going to wild parties and meeting people, they are more able to make their own entertainment and don’t seek as much external stimulation.

Average agreeableness
People with average agreeableness scores tend not to be as keen to understand other people's feelings as people with high agreeableness scores. But they are also more likely to seek a compromise or avoid offending others than people with low agreeableness scores. They are somewhere in between. They can engage positively with others and put people at their ease, but they may be more likely to speak their mind, even at the risk of offending someone.

Average conscientiousness
People with average conscientiousness scores have a sense of responsibility and like to get the job done. However, they might concentrate more on the big picture and less on the details than people with high conscientiousness scores.

Average emotional stability
People with average emotional stability scores are more likely to have mood swings than people with high emotional stability scores. But they tend to have a less varied emotional life than people with low emotional stability scores. They are somewhere in between. They can be fairly relaxed and predictable, but may occasionally have strong emotional reactions to events.

Average intellectualism
People with average intellectualism scores are less likely to be interested in abstract ideas than people with high intellectualism scores. But they are not always as focussed on practical matters as people with low intellectualism scores. They are somewhere in between. Sometimes they are interested in learning the details behind something outside their everyday experience, but they also have a fairly good grounding in the real world.

Average emotional intelligence
People with average emotional intelligence scores have a reasonably good emotional insight, but are only human. They believe they are relatively good at empathising with other people, though like anyone else they can occasionally get it wrong. Average scorers tend to see themselves as fairly well balanced, with some insight into their emotional make-up. They are pretty good at interacting with others and use their emotional insight to try to understand other people as well as they can.

I never know its so tough

date: feb 12th 2006
@: forum, Bangalore.

Me and my friend was trying for some movie tickets. first preference was RDB... as usual its sold out. SO we got tickets for Happy(telugu movie). Its 5:30 pm and the movie was @ 10. I was just thinking if we could finish watching another by then ;).

My friend: I am feeling hungry lets have something.
me: Ok, lets go to KFC.
My friend: no, i want some indian food. ( some what seriously look at me )
inside his mind (I am vegeterian idiot).
me: ok, u wont get it here we will go out.

so we went out of forum, there is a small decent looking motel (krishna sagar restaurent). we went in, he order for some stuff and me a coffee.

I picked my coffee and was going back to my table. while i was going back, a noticed a group of 5 ppl(3 guys and 2 girls) entering the restaurent. My table was close to the entrance, so i had to pass by them. the movement i passed them, i felt if one of the girls in that group was my B.Tech classmate but i am not sure if it was her. She has recently shifted to bangalore, but i have not met her yet.

I started having my coffee and started observing her, just to make sure if it wes her. I didn't bothered about other member in that group and i am sure that she has not noticed me. Its around 2-3 mins i have been observing her ( and i still could not conclude if it was her). btw my friend is still waiting to get his order.

Suddenly she looked at me......... even found that i was eyeing her. Momently i diverted my eyes off her.
(inside my mind) U havent done anything wrong, so y r u scared ??? .......... i dont have an answer. never in my life (astleast as far as i remember) i have done that, except when i have done some mistake.

My friend has brought his stuff and sat beside me. I explained him the whole incident, now he started enjoying at the whole scene. I looked at heragain after a while, within a sec she looked at me. I felt really uncomfortable again and took off my eyes. ( I dont know why, but my heartbeat has raised and i could feel it. i am a bit tensed too again for no reason).

Again i looked at her, yoooooo she looked back at me immediately, but this time i didn't divert my eyes, (but my heartbeat is rising and i was tensed..) still i looked her. To my surprise, she havent diverted he eyes off me.....
Inside i was relling myself... come on, look, look............
After around 4-5 secs, i have to finally give up.
my mind says: (huh... waht is this???................... I dont know, i ahve no answer)

this happened a other 2 times, but everytime i was beaten.

friend: I think she is also eyeing u....
inside me: after this statement, my belief that she is my classmate has become stronger.
so now, i have to confirm if i am right.

Suddenly, a cell rings ( from some other table). Yes, i got the idea. i have her mobile number, so y dont i call her. If she lifts she is the one. Simple idea right, but i dont know why it havent struck me before. The movement i got this idea, she picked up her mobile, excused her friends and started dailing some number. And she started walking closer to my table...( still looking at me). I am really embarassed....for no reason. Adding to this, even before i picked my phone from my pocket, it started ringing....
inside me: Oh god, i think it must be her.
i picked it up, it was not from her (its from other friend, for whom i have booked tickets). I lifted it up... probably shouted at him and ended the conversation. poor guy, i got emberassed cos of someone and someone else was victimized for that.
all during the phone conversation, she stood very close to my table, and i never dared to look at her. she ended her conversation and went back to her table.

Now she started looking at me and smiling with her friends. So now what should i think????
- has she recognized me and waiting for me to recognize????
- or is she celebrating her victory over me (staring)????
- or is she just enjoying with her friends
what ever it is i am really emberassed, and my friend is enjoying all this and even teasing me.....

After a while it stuck me... u havent confirmed with ur mobile idea. (my brain went dead i suppose... i am not able think at all). Ok then i picked up my mobile, call her number. Its ringing, mean while my eyes were back towards her. Oh god, she is looking at her mobile and smiling. I felt more frustrated...... after a few rings, got an answer (subscriber not answering, call later)..........
what does this mean????
- is she my classmate and is enjoying the whole scene??
- or is she just enjoying with her friends??
i have no answer.

After a while, they walked off from the restaurent( surprisingly havent ordered anyhting). Even before going out... she stared at me with a smile. I got a call after some time, it was my classmate. After the conversation i confirmed that it was not her. I was a bit relieved then

MORAL OF THE STORY:
Its really tough to bear attraction. I dont have any idea how girls bear it.

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Bizzy Life

hmmm, dont know how to start... now i dont know what to write.....

Thought of writing about my last week life and my plans for the next few weeks. Thats y i kept that title, then started the problem, how to start it. when i finally decided to write something.. i think i have forgot most of the things i want to write .............. "pause for a while".

i think my own words are confusing me, i dont know abt others who r reading this post ( if at all any) would react. Ok i will now put down what ever comes to my mind.

Warning: next few lines may give u and idea abt how fuzzy my mind works, so go a head @ ur own risk.

About Patents:
Last week i came to know about one more patent, which i consider stupid, but its giving the inventor lots of money.
- Nokia has patented the use of red and green buttons on cell phone's. So every manufacturer ( except sony erricson) has to pay money for using it. I never thought people do patent even such things, and still earn money.
- IBM has patented a particular RGB combination of blue, as its marketing color. How does it really make any difference, if i change just one bit in it and market my own product. Can any person distinguish the color difference between my add and IBM's add. Still dont understand y IBM has patented it.

ok now i will talk abt one of the simplest and what i consider the best patent i ever know. there is too much of physics involved in this, so u decide to read it or...... it
- i dont remember the person, the patent is something like this.
There was a requirement in the market to measure weight to an accuracy of 1/100 of a gram. First doubt i got is, do we really need such a thing. Infact yes, if u r buying gold, u will buy it in grams and fractions of grams. even the best sensors and electronics could not do this.

so the idea is:
the plate on which we measure the gold is suspended from a string and its natural frequency of vigration is measured. now u place the gold on it and measure it again. if u remember that the natural frequency of a string is directly proportional to the tension with which it is held. so the difference between thes 2 frequencies will tell u the wait of the gold.
wow... great idea right.... one dosent need a phd, dosent need to learn quantum physics or any of those complicated things for such an invension. its just application of physics u learn in ur +2.

Still want to write a lot more, but have to leave for dinner(9:30 pm), will update some time to night.

I think i have written enough abt patents, now abt blog hopping.
It all started as timepass over net, once in a month i used to visit some blogs randomly, but from the time i got introduced to Neelima's blog, i have become a regular visitor of this blog world. Slowly i got addicted to blog hopping. She is the best blogger i have ever seen.

PV's this is one more i visit frequently, i dont say he is a grea writer.... but i some how like the way he writes.

wisedonkey, i like the topics in this blog.

insidemamind is one more blog i found interesting. its a young teen's blog. who considers me as an old man :( "old people 25years and above" is one of the statements in her blog. This blog reminds me of my student life.

huh.. i am feeling sleepy now, its 1 AM. ok i am ending this post this final statement.

" Instead of believing that, my brain works so crazyly...... i prefer to believe that, i dont have anything called as brain".

When do i need motivation????

This is one of the wall paper, u will see mostly on my desktop. Most of the times, i will set this as wall paper, when i have lot of work pressure and very tight deadlines.

But today i feel, i need this motivation most when i have little or almost no pressure and deadlines. Huh its been a very hectic last 2 months, Today when i got the news that our product, which is supposed to showcase at "consumer electronic show" was working without anyproblems, i am releived. ok getting back to the topic, here are my reasons for what i said.

Suppose u have lot of work pressure, do u really need to motivate urself??? i dont think so... The pressure itself is enough motivation, which drives u to work for long hours. i dont think i will see this wall paper more than once a day.

I have listed out a few things, which i thought i should do when i am free so that, my life will be a bit better during pressure situations. But now when i am free, my mind dosent seems to be interested in doing all that work. i am forcing myself to start it.... but the next movement my heart says..."come on its so boring to do this... y dont u relax ... u will be busy again in a couple of weeks".....

So i feel one need's motivation most when one is free, rather than when he is busy.
What do u say????

Memories of past and Resolution for future

One day I want to remember in 2005
-

A trip you would remember for a longtime.

- Probably coorg, the only one i have gone this year.


Somethings I regret..
- to one friend, whom i promised will meet and spend some time with when i went to Hyd. Could not keep my promise. Sorry JO

- when my sis said, to cant you extend ur leave and stay some more time.... i have nothing to say except "sorry its not possible"

- when a few people close to me questioned my capability and my carreer path.......... i just kept quite, telling myself. "U WILL TO PROVE THEM WRONG" ......... but i am yet to prove it.

- when i tought, i should see my bike speedometer indicator @ 100KMPH mark. i have seen it at 95 only till date......... i will definately do it soon....

- I am still a very poor at time management........ i know there are lot of important things i have to do .......... but just could not find time for everything. One thing i have to seriously develop

Some to Cherish
- A few close friends got even closer, and came across a few new friends....

Resolutions:
- the same old one's....... correct each and every mistake i have done in the past ( if possible). Complete all ur unfinished things.... and never repeat ur mistakes.

Somethings which bring a Tear:
- Dec 28th, 2005. The most holiest place for me on Earth... the Institute which a temple for me(Indian Institute of Science) is attacked by a terrorist. Hope this will never happen again in my life.

Gifts which were special
- The Cards i received from my sis's on 26th Dec. Wishing be "Happy Birthday" well in advance.

Wish I could...

- I wish i could have nothing to fill in "Somethings i regret" column next year